The Turning Point

There are movies that start in the present time of the character and go back in time, aiming to explain the sequence of events. Others start in the past and move forward. In my film, I choose to begin from a turning point.

At the age of 19, I returned to dancing after years. Until that moment, I was a troubled eater, depressed, and mostly a young girl hurting herself. Damaged and confused by the big city, tearing myself apart, and thinking that I should please others. I wasn’t receiving any therapeutic treatment and I made my way alone in the world. One day, I found myself sitting on a bench outside my old house in the Florentin neighborhood of Tel Aviv, without a place to live, work, or money, waiting for a dance lesson. In my thoughts, I organized my day, how much time I had left for the lesson, and whether I should eat before or after and dance with a growling stomach. In my mind, I looked at my reflection in the studio’s entrance when it hit me – I want to dance, paint, travel, and sing while I’m killing the only thing that gives me all these – my own body. From that moment on, there was no way to go back. From that moment, I started pushing forward. I acted like a normal person when I was going through so many struggles and pains, but I kept pushing and falling. I was an artist, a patient, a therapist, a student, an employee, a renter, a friend. I was everything and nowhere at the same time, so achingly incomplete, not there for myself.

I can bring up the pages of my victims’ and sufferings’ lives, they are truly powerful, and you might pity me, have mercy on me, or demand justice for me. But every time I bring up the past, the past continues to exist in the present, and just as I chose or was born into a violent and shattered reality, I chose differently, I chose to grow and change.

The ghosts of the past chase me in the present, but I don’t open the door to them.

I believe in the wholeness of the body and soul, and I believe that wounds can be healed. Conventional medicine claims to determine – if that’s how the soul and body are, nothing can be fixed, only compensated for.

How can I live such complete lives with a glass ceiling above me? How can I change and transform? I believe that with proper practice, patience, changing the information we use – we can break through the glass ceiling and change persistently and slowly. I have heard many people say that it’s difficult to break out of the cycle of renting and the middle class and bring in large sums of money to invest and increase wealth, yet many people have left that cycle, become wealthy, and turned into millionaires. We can also connect and awaken to emotional abundance, soften, release, nourish new information, and advance to the next level of difficulty.

I raised myself out without rehabilitation factors, without support from national insurance, and without the family’s assistance. If I can do it, you can too.